Hi! It's been a minute but I've been just living my life. Shortly after my first blog post I started therapy 😬
Funny thing about therapy and healing...it's not all rainbows and sunshine! I didn't know what to expect, and that's probably the biggest reason I never started therapy earlier, my fear of not knowing. When I was in the military (yes, active duty and this was eons ago) the stigma associated with mental health issues definitely created more mental health issues. Everyone around me was afraid to get help. The fact that I did not get help for all the crap I went through and endured throughout my career because I was afraid of being labeled as crazy, unstable, unfit for duty and wouldn't be able to deploy and/or move (PCS) to a place I really wanted to go - was CRAZY!
When I separated, I had to unlearn those thoughts and behaviors, and it still took me years before I got any form of counseling. The first time was in 2017 - 2018 because my then husband wanted to divorce and I didn't. And for obvious reasons, I could not mentally and emotionally process it. I went to counselling to talk things through, and to hopefully work things out and we'd "save" our marriage. That obviously was not how it worked out, but I think the counselor we were seeing was a bit biased...but that's a story for another day.
Fast forward to 2022, so much had happened between 2018 and 2022. We moved to Hawaii from Germany, my kids had to adjust to life here, I had to adjust to single parenting, and no military resources, and I bought my first home. I started dating - that will also be another story for another time lol - and we were all getting to know each other and slowly started to blend our families together. I was a full-time online student, in and out of a few jobs that just didn't suit me, settled at a small private sector company (which was toxic af, but I was just happy to be a salary employee lol). Then COVID-19 struck and the world slowed the f*k down. Slowing down during COVID was a god-send because I have been on the go for as long as I can remember - I think I was born running lol....first born and a daughter, 1st grandchild...lots of expectations to live up to growing up.
This is when I started to work on myself and do shadow work, and really dig deep into my fears, past traumas, generational trauma that I could identify within myself. It was a spiritual journey...and I'm still on my spiritual journey. Telling my truth and sharing my stories is why I wanted to start my blog. In my culture, we don't talk about our problems, we don't share openly about things that could embarrass our family members, and make me look like a weak person. Mental Health is so important, and getting help or asking for help is the STRONGEST thing you could ever do for yourself.
You can't help others if you don't help yourself first!
Okay...Love y'all!
Sas 💗
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